Ungrateful Brother Refuses To Involve Sister In Wedding Plans Even Though She Is Paying For It

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LiterallyLily17
Jan 10, 2022 10:00 AM EST

The OP in this tale has been through a lot. Both of her parents died, leaving her to be the head of the family. She is 31 years old and has found monetary success. Her younger brother has not been so fortunate. Being the kind-hearted sister that she is, she decided to pay for her brothers wedding in full. She's just looking for a little recognition and wants to be involved in the planning process. This seems like a perfectly reasonable wish, but her brother and soon to be SIL are pushing her out. OP is fed up and frustrated. Keep reading for the details. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for being upset that I'm not involved in my brothers wedding which I am paying for?
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 02
    Smile - I (F31) have a brother (M29) and he is getting married next year. We lost our Mum in 2012 and our Dad in 2016. We are each others only living relatives. I have a good job, I earn a lot of money (£150,000 per year). My brother also has a good job, but doesn't
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 03
    Font - earn anywhere. near as much (£35,000). We we raised to always look after each other and share. My partner and I are child free. Over the years I have paid for my brothers Masters degree, paid the down payment on his house (our parents rented, so there is no family home). I will also be paying for my future SIL (F26) and my
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 04
    Mammal - brother to have future rounds of IVF. SIL works part-time and earns about 15k a year, her parents are not well off. My brother asked if I could contribute to the cost of the wedding. I said I'd pay for it, as is is small with 100 guests, and set up a wedding account for them into which I put £25,000 which they both have access to.
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 05
    Facial expression - SIL's entire family are involved as bridesmaids and groomsmen. My husband and I are guests. Brother and SIL have been going around venues with her family, and I get emailed the costing if it's selected.
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 06
    Human body - I told my brother I don't mind paying for the wedding but I feel really weird that everyone else is involved in the decision and I'm just involved with paying. Brother has said that I'm not our parents, I can't replace our parents and that's why I'm not involved.
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 07
    Vertebrate - Why can't I just do something nice without making him feel shit. I feel like an asshole for causing drama, but also feel taken advantage of. AITA?
    via u/Downtown-Bowler-8987
  • 08
    Font - edited 15 hr. ago 台22 AdministrationThis & 81 More Asshole Aficionado [14] hr. ago NTA. You are not his parent but, let's face it, you have certainly financially supported him like one in so many different ways. And it doesn't sound like you are trying to control things, just want to be included the same as SIL's family has been. Now that he is going to be a great big married adult, I think it is time you cut off your support and let him be the independent person he is.
    via u/administrationthis
  • 09
    Font - Sufficient-Stage489 · 16 hr. ago I don't think you should even pay for the wedding. If he's behaving like this now, he'll just cut you off and contact again when he needs help. So not worth of your effort and money. NTA obviously but he is a major AH. 3.7k Reply Share ...
    via u/suffcient-stage489

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